Softhearted Reptile
by DragonDroppings
Summary: Lizards are reptiles. They do not express affection, or grow attached to anyone. Cold; distant. But Gray... He is kind, and comforting. Almost till the point of being motherly. Warm, near. He's a former assassin. He's a caretaker. He's either one or the other, but he's also both. He makes Alice feel safe, but he also scares her. This is Wonderland. Anything can happen.
1. Frostbite

His long, black coat was caught in a stray breeze, gently swaying. The tips of his hair were tousled against his face. Alone in the clearing, he stood motionless, vacant eyes fixed on nothing.

The world was illuminated by a sun low in the sky, casting it's last desperate rays across a dark, bloodstained horizon.

Or, maybe, it was a desperate hand, reaching across a dark, bloodstained boot.

The breeze changed direction, and the figure shifted. His eyes slowly turned to meet hers, with a flicker of recognition.

"Alice." It was a whisper. A sigh. A heel that rose and ground a struggling form to the earth.

"You should not be here." There was no accusation. No question. Just plain, simple fact.

She should not be here. She should not have come. She was not meant for this place. Things she had been telling herself from the moment she had arrived.

"Alice." Briefly, she wondered what she looked like to him right now. Frightened? Disgusted? Horrified? She certainly didn't feel any of those things. No, just a cold, hard, sinking sensation in her heart.

Yet, as his boots silently glided across the clearing, filling the gap between them, she found she could not stop shaking. She crossed her arms, clutching them tightly to hide her trembling. But her attempts to conceal it only made her seem more afraid.

"Do I frighten you, Alice?"

No. She wanted to tell him. _No, you don't frighten me. You're so polite, and kind, and gentle... _But... Looking at him now, she couldn't see any of those things. His eyes were dark and cold. And, even in the fading twilight, she could make out the crimson blurs on his coat, and on his hands.

Somewhere, in the shadows behind him, motionless figures lay, staining the earth.

_I... I... _She took a hesitant step back. Her foot brushed against something, and she looked down.

A clock, smeared with red.

Something in her snapped. Her heart lurched in her chest, and suddenly her whole body was shivering. The world was spinning, painted black, red, and gray.

She met his gaze. He was watching her with eyes that were withdrawn and indifferent. This person... He was not someone she knew. The person she knew was gone.

Before she closed her eyes, she whispered to him in a shaking, broken voice.

"Why, Gray?"

* * *

"A-Alice?!" The package slipped from Gray's hands when he saw her. With almost superhuman speed, he managed to catch the bundle before it hit the ground.

"H-h-ey, Gray," she mumbled sheepishly. From the look on Gray's face, she must be in a pretty bad state. When it came to taking care of others, Gray was usually was a bit over the top, but...

Well, in this case, she would be overreacting, too. She could only imagine what she looked like right now. Alice's hair was wet, and dripping from melted snow. Her spring dress was ripped, shredded even in some spots, from her fall in the woods... She had scraped both knees that time, too.

Alice absentmindedly flexed her fingers, but they were stiff and barely responsive. She had lost most of the feeling in her hands and feet.

"What happened," Gray cried, quickly, albeit carefully, placing his package on the ground and rushing to her side.

"I..." She trailed off, trying to come up with a suitable excuse. "A l-lot?"

_Smooth._

Gray's eyes narrowed. He seemed torn between his instinctive need to help her, and questioning her obviously suspicious answer. But Alice stubbornly avoided direct contact, hoping he would drop the subject.

"I-" Alice's teeth began to chatter. Gray shook his head, relenting.

"We need to get you warm!"

Alice couldn't have agreed more. "Thank you!" She exclaimed. She moved to make a step into the tower, but Gray moved faster. He reached down, sweeping her off her feet with his powerful arms.

"H-hey," she exclaimed, caught off guard. Her arms waved in the air as she tried to push herself out of his arms.

"You are _not_ walking up those stairs like this," he told her sternly, tapping a finger to her nose. He easily shifted her position, moving so that she was forced to lean against him.

While Alice could not argue that she would probably never make it anywhere in her condition, it was... Embarrassing.

"I s-s-should be o-ok-"

"No." Gray maneuvered them inside, gently closing the door with his leg.

"Gra-"

"No."

"If y-you just-"

"No."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he interrupted.

"_No_."

She sighed; he just refused to relent.

_Well then._

Taking her silence for defeat, Gray nodded his approval.

What followed came in a blur.

Faceless workers appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, at Gray's call. Voices shouted, people ran to and fro, and objects materialized in her hands. Alice's cold numbed brain didn't really process everything very well. But from the commotion everyone was making, it was almost like she was dying or something.

Really, Gray- she didn't need two dozen blankets!

From somewhere in the chaos, a bath was summoned, and Alice found herself being slowly and gently warmed in the water. A few female faceless workers accompanied her, ready to assist her if she needed.

Alice let herself soak in the waters. It felt really good; her frozen muscles gradually unwound and relaxed. But as everything warmed, and her body began to move freely again, her mind grew sharper. She could feel her stiff, clumsy digit coming alive, starting to burn with pin pricks of pain.

Frostbite.

She probably had frostbite.

Alice submerged her head underwater. _I really am stupid... Running away like that. It was my own fault that I got caught in the snow wearing something meant for spring._

Nothing to do about it now... She would just have to face the consequences.

_I guess it's about time I finished..._ Her hands were bright red and wrinkly.

Getting out of water, Alice found herself presented with a clean outfit. A dress, much like her typical wear, but accompanied by thick stockings, and a soft overcoat suited for cold weather. She dismissed the faceless workers, reassuring them that she would be fine, before dressing. Though this was made difficult by the pain in her hands.

_All done!_ She slowly, painfully, opened the door and left the bath.

Within moments of exiting the room, she felt a presence behind her. Alice turned to look, but the ground fell away as someone lifted her up.

Once again, it seemed, Gray had managed to capture her.

Had he been waiting outside the bath all this time? But she had been in there for such a long time! There was no way... Alice eyed the man.

Then again, this was Gray she was talking about. Her eyebrow twitched.

"Gray," she protested, "I can walk."

"Alice," he looked at her seriously, "If you have frostbite, you cannot be walking on your feet!"

"..." She felt too tired to say anything more. Too tired to argue with him. And, in any case, he was probably right. Satisfied, Gray carried her up a flight of stairs. It really never failed to amaze Alice how strong the citizens of this world were. Why, he was jogging up the stairs, carrying her, and hardly breaking a sweat!

They reached a spare room in the tower.

Much more gentle and cautious than necessary, Gray set her down on the bed. It was soft and fluffy, with a large down filled blanket. Alice sighed with contentment as she lay down on it.

"Pardon the intrusion," a worker called. He stood in the entrance, holding an enormous medical kit. Alice's eyes widened. She wasn't in _that_ bad condition! But Gray just nodded, taking the monstrous package from him before dismissing the faceless.

Gray knelt by the bedside, setting the supplies beside him. Alice watched with interest as he rummaged through the bag, pulling out all sorts of balms and creams.

Oh. Alice recognized a few of the bottles. Treatment for frostbite.

"Alice, show me your hands." Alice had tucked her hands together, out of reach. The stinging, burning sensation had multiplied tenfold. It hurt a lot.

"Alice," Gray softly said, "I need to treat them. It will do a lot more damage later if I don't." The situation reminded her of a mother trying to coax her stubborn child into taking medicine. She knew it would help, but she was afraid it would hurt.

As if reading the thoughts on her mind, Gray shifted closer. "I promise I won't hurt you, Alice." His gaze was earnest. "Please?"

Slowly, with an air of reluctance, she placed her hands before him. Gray hissed with displeasure when he saw the large blisters running across her angry red skin. Gingerly cupping her hands in his, he produced a soothing cream. Gray's fingers moved in slow, delicate circles across her hands, massaging the balm into her skin.

Alice jumped a little, when she felt the cool touch. But she relaxed almost instantly; the balm completely eased the pain.

"Wow," she breathed. Gray chuckled quietly, under his breath. He picked up a roll of bandage, and began to individually wrap each of her fingers. When Gray reached the ends of her fingers, he started from the base of her wrist. Every movement of his was careful not to press too hard against her skin, or cause her any more discomfort.

There was a comfortable silence, broken only by the soft snip of scissors as he cut another strip of bandage. While he worked, Alice found herself marveling by how adept his hands were. They were so large they covered hers, yet they moved so delicately.

And they were so very gentle.

"Alice?" A new voice broke Alice's train of thought. She recognized the voice immediately.

"Nightmare," Gray acknowledged, not looking away from Alice's hands. "You should be working." His boss paled a little at the mention.

"N-never-mind that," he avoided, "How are you doing, Alice?"

She blinked, "Well... Much better." Gray pinned the last bandage, setting her hands softly in her lap.

"That should do for now."

"Thank you." _My hands do feel better... The burning sensation isn't so bad now. _

Gray smiled warmly, "Of course, Alice!" He continued to speak, but Alice's mind was beginning to wander. Now that the pain was gone, there was nothing to keep her mind awake. She could feel herself slowly drifting away.

_I feel so tired..._

Catching her train of thought, Nightmare pulled on Gray's sleeve. Silently, he pointed to Alice, who was beginning to nod off.

"We'll let you rest, Alice," Nightmare told her. Grateful, Alice nodded.

"Until tomorrow."

* * *

_**(( ~ I'm just going to put this out there:**_

_**I love Gray~! ^^ He's my favorite character in the no Kuni series. Just so cute... / Anyway, I've been thinking of making this one for awhile, and finally decided to put my plan in action. Here's the result of being awake till 5:00 AM... ^^' ))**_

_**((Yes! Fixed the chapter!))**_


	2. Duckling In The Snow

"So, Alice..."

Alice gently massaged her temples, preparing herself for what came next. She had been expecting Nightmare to ask questions, but for him to be on the ball like this... She was called to the dreamworld within minutes of falling asleep.

_If only he would be so diligent in his working habits._

"Hey!" Nightmare exclaimed. Of course he had picked up on that thought. That was a bad habit of his; snooping where he shouldn't be. She wouldn't be surprised if he had already pried the whole story from her head.

The incubus frowned, "I'd rather hear it from you, Alice." He floated a little closer to her, but she took a step back.

"There's no story, really," she vaguely dismissed.

_Ducks. Think of fluffy yellow ducks._ If she was thinking of ducks, Nightmare wouldn't see anything besides that. During her few trips to the Tower, Alice had caught a tip or two on how to keep a nosy incubus out of one's thoughts. Gray's doing, of course. She was grateful for that... Her thoughts were in too much disorder right now.

And, of course, there was _that_...

Nightmare quirked an eyebrow, "I get the feeling there is."

"No."

"I don't like ducks that much, you know," he muttered.

The tips of Alice's mouth twitched in a smile. "Can you humor me on this one?"

Nightmare's cheeks puffed out. "At least make it cats..."

Alice let her shoulders relax, finding Nightmare's reaction to her defense a little funny. "Yes," she agreed, "Lets make it cats." She concentrated, thinking of a small calico kitten rolling on it's back.

"Much better!"

Alice paused. "What does Gray usually show you?"

"Gray?" Nightmare's nose wrinkled. "Not much, really. Just a big, fat wall. Nothing interesting there."

That _was_ actually rather interesting... At least, to Alice. It sounded a lot more secure than her images. But on the topic, she was hoping that Nightmare would leave things as they were now.

"Aaaliceee-" he whined, "Please? Will you tell me now?" His lower lip jutted out childishly as he sulked.

_Wishful thinking..._

"Nightmare," she sighed, "There's no story." There really wasn't. Nothing to make a big deal of. Nothing to tell him. And certainly nothing to worry about.

_Hopefully_.

"Then," Nightmare's voice deepened, "Why are you trying so hard not to think about it?" His eyes were serious, evaluating hers. Change in tactics.

_Shoot_.

"I'm-"

_Kittens._

"Not-"

_Soft, fluffy._

"Thinking about it because there's nothing to think about!" Alice closed her eyes, picturing a family of kittens, running around. _So cute..._

She felt a light flick to her forehead, and opened her eyes.

'Silly," Nightmare was an arm's reach away, his fingers still posed in the act. "It's obvious something's wrong. Actions aside, the way you arrived here is proof enough."

"I just got a little lost. Season's changing, and all." Alice absentmindedly brushed her hands on her dress.

Nightmare shook his head, floating a few steps away. "We both know that isn't true. You aren't like that wandering knave..." Alice's eyes tightened at the mention.

"Ace? This has something to do with Ace!" Nightmare exclaimed, catching the unprotected thought. Alice flinched, concentrating on anything that didn't have to do with hearts or knights.

"Alice..." He was close to catching everything. In her distress, she wasn't able to properly cover it all.

But the dreamworld began to ripple, losing focus and refocusing like a kaleidoscope. Someone was waking Alice up. Nightmare made an unhappy sound as he began to fade away. He started to say something, but vanished from sight before the sentence was completed.

Alice sighed.

Somehow, she had managed. But this time she got lucky. Any longer, and Nightmare would almost certainly have been able to pick up on her thought. She had no doubt that he would pick up where they left off, next time. Persistent...

But now to see who was waking her up. If it was a faceless, she would be alright. But if it was Gray...

It might be round two.

* * *

Sunlight spilled from a window pane, refracting rippling streams of light across her face. Blinking heavy eyelids, Alice's tired eyes slowly focused on a blurry figure leaning overhead.

Two pools of liquid amber blinked back at her.

_Oh._

"Are you alright Alice?!" Gray's worried voice drifted across her haze. _It would be Gray, wouldn't it?_

"Gray," she slowly answered, still registering the fact that she was awake.

"You were making noises in your sleep," Gray exclaimed.

"Ah, that..." Alice pushed herself into a sitting position. She could see Gray hovering, ready to help her if she so needed. Alice lifted her tired face to meet his, sleepily rubbing her eyes. "I was just talking to Nightmare."

"O-oh. I see," Gray shifted uncomfortably, "Did he say something to you? You seemed distressed."

"Mm," she answered vaguely, "I'm fine." Just really tired, Alice added in afterthought. She looked directly at Gray, but noticed he wouldn't meet her gaze. "Gray, are you okay?" Alice blinked furiously, trying to clear her vision.

"Me? I-I'm fine," he replied, fidgeting again.

"..." Alice leaned closer, trying to see him better. Suspicious... But Gray leaned away before she could get any closer. "Gray?"

"I should leave you be." He got to his feet. "I'm sure you're still very tired."

"Well, yes, but..."

"Please try to get some rest, Alice." He looked her in the eye with a caring smile.

She smiled, "Yes..."

With a gentle click, Gray disappeared from sight. Alice sat for a few moments, staring at the door. That had been... Strange. But she was grateful he'd woken her up.

_In any case..._ Alice stretched her hands above her head. She wouldn't be going back to sleep, no matter how tired she felt. She wasn't prepared for another session with Nightmare. It was still going to be difficult between him and Gray in the tower, but it would be easier with distractions.

Alice looked at her carefully bandaged hands. And paused.

_Wha..._

What was this?! Her hands looked like two enormous white clubs. They were way too bandaged! How was she supposed to use her hands like this?!

_That Gray..._ He must have added more layers while she was asleep. Alice laughed quietly to herself; she must look ridiculous right now!

With much difficulty, Alice wrested a layer off her right hand. She had to scrape it against the edge of the bed, and pull on it with her teeth. It took a long time, but, finally managed to remove a decent amount. The wrappings fell to the floor with a rustle, piling on top of each other. Each layer had a generous amount of soothing balm mixed in. It seemed a bit of a shame to waste so much, but really... She didn't need all of it! Alice got to work on her left hand.

_Much better... _There couldn't be more than one or two layers left. She could feel a deep ache in the skin beneath those pale layers, but the worst of it was soothed by the balm from Gray.

Now... How to avoid bringing anything up? Nightmare could still read her mind. And she had no doubt that Gray would ask questions as well, once he was sure she was feeling better.

"No..." She wouldn't be able to keep secrets from them. One way or another, someone would find out.

"I have to leave..." She pulled back the covers, and swung her feet over the bed. Alice flinched when her bare feet touched the chilled stone. Winter had frozen the stone floors in the Tower. No matter how much they warmed the rooms, the floor always managed to keep itself cold. She hadn't noticed before, though... Someone had made sure to cover her with a thick, warm layer of blankets. There was even a pair of comfortable looking slippers left at the foot of her bed, so she wouldn't walk on the cold ground. A pair of winter boots lay alongside them.

_Gray..._ Her eyes softened.

_He's too nice... Maybe..._

_No._

Alice shook her head. She was leaving. Right now. Nightmare would pick up on her thoughts any minute, if he hadn't already. Wasting any more time would mean she wouldn't get away.

* * *

Alice found her way to the base of the tower without too much difficulty. She had been there before, after all, on more than one occasion. But it was still a big place; she had to ask for directions a few times. The faceless were all willing, albeit puzzled, to help her.

No one expected her to run away. It made sense, though. She hadn't even expected herself to run away! But desperate times, they say...

Alice hoped Gray wouldn't take it too badly. He was always overstressing himself, worrying. For a citizen of Clover, he was surprisingly gentle. And as far as she'd seen, he was one of the best tempered, and most polite people she knew. In _or_ out of this world.

He could do without being so motherly, though. Turning the final flight of stairs before the exit, Alice smiled to herself. Just part of the charm, she supposed.

She opened the door. Her eyes lit up; she was lucky! The sun was shining, casting rainbows, and the snow wasn't falling too heavily. Just a small, delicate snowflakes.

If her luck continued, she might be able to get to another season without being caught in anything serious. Like she had been before... But this time Alice was prepared; she was dressed properly and she had planned her route.

Alice took a step into the snow, and her boot sank in with a muffled crunch.

For a brief moment, she looked back at the tower.

_Sorry, Gray._ She let go of the door, without turning back. But she could hear it close, with a note of finality.

* * *

Humming happily to himself, Gray carried another stack of papers through the hallway. Yet another load for Nightmare. But the prospect of carrying more work that his boss would never complete didn't damper Gray's spirits.

He was in a good mood, thinking about earlier today...

He was recalling how Alice had looked, sleepily gazing up at him with her big green eyes. _So cute... Like a tiny little kitten. _How he adored cute things!

Gray opened the door to Nightmare's office. The incubus was curled up with a blanket wrapped snugly around him. His shoulders were slumped, absentmindedly stamping papers. Every now and then, he muttered something about cruel dictators, and people keeping secrets.

"Here you are, Master Nightmare," Gray smiled, "This is all the work that has piled up!" It hit the desk with a solid thud. Nightmare looked at the substantial stack with horror.

"N-no more," Nightmare cried, "Don't bring in any more!"

"I can't do that, Master Nightmare. You have to finish it," Gray replied.

"Monster!" But Gray continued, undeterred. He began to sort through the papers Nightmare had finished, thinking to himself. He should probably check on Alice again soon. Maybe add another layer of bandaging? One could never be too careful.

"Ah," he murmured to himself, "She's probably feeling hungry... I should make her something..."

From somewhere behind him, Nightmare muttered a silent prayer for Alice. Gray's intentions were in the right place, but... That cooking was monstrous!

All of a sudden, a faceless worker burst into the room. "Master Nightmare!"

Nightmare stiffened, catching their train of thought. "Gray." His tone was serious, and urgent. Gray immediately turned to face his employer.

"Alice is-"

* * *

The door to the tower slammed open, and Gray burst out.

_Alice couldn't have!_

The snow had picked up since the early morning, but his keen eyes immediately found the trail of footprints in the snow. She really had run away.

_Alice!_

Sparing no further time, Gray pursued the trail, hoping, praying he would find her in time.

_Please be alright... Alice!_

* * *

_**((Oh no! Alice is out in the storm! XD**_

_**Hi, hi, everyone! I'm sorry this chapter is so short... I just really wanted to get this done before I leave!**_

_**I'm going to Japan on Wednesday, you see! I seriously can't believe it ~ So looking forward!**_

_**That being said, I won't be back until the 18th. And I start work on the 19th (going to be sooo tired...) So I won't be able to update for a while. **_

_**I hope you guys enjoyed this!**_

_**P.S. : A little information on the mind reading. I kind of let my own ideas of Nightmare's ability take rein here. I figure that if someone concentrates really hard on something, Nightmare can't read other thoughts. Which is how Gray can deter Nightmare from what he's thinking. Don't know if that's accurate to the actual series, but I couldn't find anything on it, so I just went with this. ^^ Hope it worked!**_

_**Thank you to everyone reading! 3 Best wishes))**_

_**((Edited!))**_


	3. Slowly Forgetting

The afternoon sun cast a honey glaze over the frosted white landscape. Branches of frozen tree hung low in the sky, weighed down by armfuls of snow. Careful to avoid snagging her hair on a rogue branch, Alice kept a steady pace. She had a good head start, but... She had her suspicions that the distance wouldn't stop a citizen of Clover. Not only were they ridiculously headstrong but also, in the case of _certain_ individuals, ridiculously persistent.

Alice couldn't... Blame them. At least, not in this situation. Showing up at the Clover tower, half frozen, without so much as an explanation... And then just up and leaving. If she were them, she would have been furious with herself!

By now... Nightmare had probably realized she was gone. No, he had definitely realized. She had no doubt that someone was already following her. Most likely... Gray.

Alice remembered the bandaged clubs he had left her with that morning. A smile tugged at the corner of Alice's mouth. Always overdoing things, that one... If she knew anything about him, it was that he would not sit back in this situation.

Did Gray... Treat everyone like that? Nightmare, of course, but... What about everyone else? Would he take just as much time and effort to care for, say, Boris?

Alice's brow twitched. Somehow it didn't sound right... She couldn't picture him nursing Boris back to health after getting frostbite. What about everyone else? Ace was out of the question, of course. Same with Blood, and that pretty much unqualified everyone else at the Hatter's mansion. Now that she thought about it; roleholders really didn't make friends outside their territories. Not... True friends, at least. Everyone paid such little attention to killing that they wouldn't hesitate to kill one another. They didn't even consider their own lives precious...

Alice wondered... Could she change that?

One boot sank deep into a hidden hole by her feet. Alice hit the ground, cushioned by the thick layer of snow. She could feel the touch of ice and snow press against her.

_Oh._

Alice pushed herself into a seated position. She sat for a moment, absentmindedly placing her hands against the snow.

_It's cold..._

It brought her mind back to reality. She had forgotten where she was going. What she planned to do. She wouldn't be around to try and change things...

After all, she was leaving.

_For good._

* * *

Alice dusted the snow from her dress. It wouldn't do her any good, sitting and moping. She had already made up her mind; she was going to leave this place behind. A part of her wanted to stay, of course... She had met so many people and, as crazy and reckless as they could be, they had become her friends...

But she couldn't forget her sister. There was no way she could forget her. And, to begin with, Alice didn't belong in this world. She never had...

Alice gently massaged her left hand as she walked. The balm was wearing off, and her digits were starting to ache. It would have been nice to have had some extra balm with her... But these were things she could think about once she got... Back.

_Home._

It felt almost... Strange to think about it like that. Alice was going to her house. But was it home? She had made a life for herself here, but it wasn't where she belonged, but somehow... It wasn't quite home, either. Did Alice have no place that she belonged?

She shook the uncomfortable thought away. Not here, maybe, but there was a place for her back in her world. Definitely! It was where she should be.

The snow was beginning to thin out. Here and there, traces of brown and green were becoming noticeable. Alice was getting close to her destination; the doors. She had been there before; she knew what to expect. The first time Alice remembered being startled, scared even, of the voices. Ace had led her there, and he had explained that... She was lost.

At first she had denied it; she had a pretty good idea of where she was. But Ace hadn't been talking about the physical sense. Now that she had had time to consider things... Alice could understand. She didn't know where she belonged...

Ace was right. He was always right about these sort of things. He saw them a lot clearer than she did. Probably because... He was more than a little lost. And not just directionally.

"_**This way."**_

A voice caught her off guard. She whipped her head up, breaking the train of thought as her eyes scanned the surroundings.

"_**Come this way."**_ Alice took a deep breath. Just the doors speaking. Though that in itself was still a little unnerving...

Now mushrooms grew, unabashed, smaller than her index finger, and taller than her head. They were a mesh of different colors; ruby reds, brilliant blues, vivid violets... They added a mesmerizing touch to the soft, gentle trees of the forest. Decorating these trees, signs pointed in all directions. Up, down, across, seemingly without point or cause. And, scattered amongst them, were the doors she sought.

"_**Over here. Come here."**_

Alice didn't like the voices. It was like they could read her every thought. They promised to take her away, to somewhere where she was wanted and loved. A perfect place... Just one door. That was all it took. One door, and she would be safely home with her sister. Yet, somehow, Alice found her feet carrying her farther into the forest.

_Just to... Find the right one._ Alice tried to reassure herself. After all; she wouldn't want to make a mistake!

She passed tall, misshapen doors, twisted into strange shapes. Doors so small, it would be impossible for her to fit her whole hand through. Doors of all colors, shapes, and sizes. But each of them called to her.

"_**Open the door."**_

"_**Come here."**_

_I'll pick one. I will... I just need some time..._

She wondered what was wrong with her. She had already come all the way here; why wasn't she moving forward?

_What are you doing Alice? What are you thinking about?_

Alice tried to summon the picture of her sister she kept in her memories, smiling warmly at her, but... She found she could no longer remember what her sister's face looked like.

That was... Scary. A scary thing to think about. Had she really been here so long, she had forgotten her own sister?

_All the more reason to get home as soon as I can! Just pick one!_

Alice stopped herself. There was a large, bright blue door in front of her. A rounded window of stained glass decorated it's upper half, dusted with light designs of leaves and flowers.

"_**Open it."**_

Alice reached for the old copper door knob. Her mind was decided; she refused to look back. But as she was about to turn the handle, an image came to mind. She hesitated.

It cost her.

"Alice!"

_Oh._

It was a voice she recognized all too well. Gray had found her.

"Alice, what are you doing," he cried. She didn't turn around; her fingers still tightly locked around the knob. If she turned around now, there would be no going back.

"I'm leaving, Gray," she sounded soft, and sad, even to her.

"Leaving? Alice..." His voice was much closer this time. He couldn't have been more than a few arm's lengths away. She hadn't even heard him approach, his footsteps were so quiet!

_That isn't fair! I-I don't have time to prepare myself!_

"Is this really what you want, Alice," Gray quietly murmured.

_Is it? What else could I want?_

"Y-yes," Alice's voice wavered with a small tremor, "Please don't try to stop me, Gray."

_Keep it together, Alice!_

"I won't try stop you," he gently assured, "But only if I'm sure that this is what you truly want."

Her empty hand clenched, "It... Is." Of course it was! She was going home, to her sister! Her sister, whom she loved! Her... Sister...

"Look at me, Alice," Gray called. He had lowered his voice; speaking softly like one might with a frightened animal.

_Don't look at him, Alice!_

"Alice," he pleaded, "Turn around."

"I _can't_."

"Why?" His voice didn't carry any accusation.

"If I do," she hesitated, "If I do, I won't be able to..." She cut herself off, unable to say any more.

"Leave," Gray continued, "You won't be able to leave." Alice didn't reply. She couldn't trust herself to continue at this point. She shouldn't have said anything from the start.

Something warm wrapped around the bandaged hand that gripped the door. Alice jumped, and looked up, catching Gray's gaze. Deep, saffron, amber orbs of marble, reflecting a small, frightened looking face. Those warm, honeyed, tones looked down at her without anger or judgement, but compassion.

"It's alright," he cooed, gently tugging on her hands with his, "You can let go." Stubbornly, she tightened her grip.

_What do I do?_

Gray could easily break her hold, if he wanted to. Alice knew it would take little effort for him to stop her. But... He chose not to force her to leave.

"Let's go back, Alice."

'_Let's go back, Alice.'_ Those were the words she had heard before. It was such a familiar feeling, something began to burn in the back of her throat. Who had said those words to her before? Those exact words...

In her mind's eye, she could see that time.

The afternoon sun had been bright, stretching it's golden fingers across her cheek. A stray lock of hair had fallen across her face.

Then someone... Had reached down, and brushed the hair behind her ear. Sleepily, Alice had opened her eyes. A blurred figure, wearing an elegant purple dress, had extended a hand to her.

"_Let's go back, Alice." _The world unfocused like a kaleidoscope of images; the memory was gone.

_But who... Was that?_

Alice's eyes refocused on Gray. His gentle smile hadn't disappeared. He was still patiently waiting for her. Almost without her consent, she could feel her hand loosen on the knob.

"Gray?" She felt far too exposed; vulnerable.

"We'll go back to the Clock Tower," he reassured. His large hands pulled on hers again. They relaxed, and Gray pried them off the knob. Keeping her eyes on the door, Alice let Gray lead her further and further away.

_And that was it._

Alice could feel something sting in the corners of her eyes. She watched the door grow smaller behind her. It felt like she as abandoning... Abandoning... Lorina. Her memories were becoming hazier, and slowly fading away.

_I will... Come back._

Alice made a silent promise to herself, even as Gray took her back to the Tower. She couldn't risk losing her sister all together. Her memories were the only things tying her to that world.

She looked forward, seeing the back of Gray's coat fluttering slightly in a stray breeze. He was... Good to her. But...

_Definitely, definitely._

_Never forget._

* * *

_**((I just realized this may look like the end... But it is not! I have plans for more chapters to come! ^^**_

_**Yo! Everyone~ I am so sorry this took so darn long... I was in Japan for about a month, and I started my summer job right after I got back. And then, of course, school started up right after that... - I have been so tired...**_

_**But finally got around to finishing this chapter! Hooray!**_

_**Oh! And, I've been working on the other stories I got for requests! Have no fear, they shall be published soon! (I'm so sorry it took so long, too... T^T)**_

_**Anyway, it's about 1:30 AM right now, and I have to bake a cake tomorrow morning. Take care all of you! (I hope this chapter wasn't rushed... I tried to take my time!))**_


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